Add a Little Green to Your Gifts this Season

Barbie & Ken Vintage Photos

Good gifts needn't come with a hefty price tag - especially when there are ample indie, local and artisanal gifts at the L.A. Holiday Mart in Santa Monica this weekend. The story goes that an entreprenette, artist and event planner put their heads together to make this shop soiree of handmade goods. Enjoy some complimentary coffee and cookies. I've included my top picks. 

Salvage Heart Sweetheart

Fahmina

Listen More, Talk Less, Ask Questions

I had the good fortune of receiving a couple calls back to back last night from two very dear friends. I'd drop most things (the exception being driving in L.A. traffic and a deadline) to sit and chat on the phone with my girlfriends about really anything. It just so happened last night's topic du jour had to do with relationships - platonic and romantic. The topic wasn't really so important as much as the experience of sharing that topic. My mother used to say to me that you should do more listening and less talking because God gave you two ears and one mouth. Hat tip to mommy dearest. So when I do "talk" with friends, I like to try and listen patiently while the other party explains - sometimes at lengthy efforts - the egregious situation at hand they're experiencing and simply must get off their chest. Try it, it doesn't come so easy sometimes. 


Given a choice between listening and talking, people express more talent in talking about themselves. Go to any party and if you're struggling with a dull conversation, just ask that person lots of questions about themselves. If they're not in a coma, the dialogue will pick up in a snap. It reminds me what they taught me as a journalist student. Listen. Listen. Listen. Essentially, absorb what information you're given; and it will give you a better understanding from which to jump into questions - or in my friend's case, offer a suggestion or two. Why am I bringing this up?


Often, people just need the cathartic experience of ranting or having a sympathetic ear to share the troubles of their world with--the subject matter is irrelevant because things affect all of us differently. And we're social creatures, we literally must interact for the sake of our survival (studies have proven that babies can actually perish if nobody touches or interacts with them). Take Kitty for instance, who felt it justifiable enough to jump in front of my laptop for mere minutes of affection before her afternoon nap.  


In my case with friends, I do genuinely care what they're sharing with me. It's not uncommon for our conversations to sign off with a couple "love you's." As individuals, it's of the utmost importance to not be so self-focused on our own vexations and tribulations -- espesh when there is really much satisfaction in being there for a friend, the effort is all in simply listening. 

Etiquette Books Your Mama Has Never Heard Of

As with so many things in life we sometimes need a small reminder on how to do things. Etiquette, for instance. In my bookshelf, I keep a nice collection of etiquette books, which I love picking through just for ideas and inspiration. I'm gonna say these are great picks because they're written by modern-day writers (none of that archaic silverware, plate setting business) and are actually winky and snarky enough to make most young people laugh while appreciating the manner-ish message. And really, it's more about gestures and consideration, rather than stuffy rules. If you find yourself even the slightest bit interested in learning about this etiquette business (of course you do) or find yourself stifled by the interactions of young folks in your city, check out these books from my collection that I adore. I promise these won't put you to sleep.

The Art of Civilized Conversation by Margaret Shepherd ~ Just sweetly encouraging and compact enough to toss in your bag should you have to wait somewhere. Terribly adorbs topics include "Small-Talk Saboteurs," "Disagree in a Civilized Fashion" and "Everybody Blunders." 

"Sometimes you may meet a person who just can't seem to help himself; he flirts shamelessly. It may be the only way he knows how to relate to the opposite gender. Conversations always seem to return to the discussions of looks or are infused with sexual innuendo. [...] Women seem more aware of how to keep a conversation 'on track.' If you want to block or slow down a flirtation, use 'I' a lot, 'you' and 'we' never."

Thinking of You by Marjabelle Young Stewart ~ I tried the act below once with a boy. Even if romantic notions aren't their taste, you'll usually get a sweet laugh for the effort. Plus, who doesn't like thoughtful gifts?

"Tuck a perfume- or aftershave-scented handkerchief (barely scented, not drenched) into your partner's suitcase when he's leaving town on business, along with a note that says, 'Think of me.'" 

How to be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life ~ Audrey Hepburn and how she lived the way she did, 'nuff said.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen ~ OK, not a modern etiquette book per say, but good golly molly did men and women know how to treat each other with such niceties (letter writing just to say hello, anyone?) And Austen offers such a lovely presentation on how sexual tension could be bottled up into neat, cordial interactions. Not that is still doesn't take a dedicated eye to learn how to "read" people's emotions. Indeed, handy even a century later. 

The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum by Kim Izzo & Ceri Marsh ~ These Canadian journalist wrote a three-book collection on social decorum for the modern-day gal. Tips are hilar and randy, with topics like "Sex & Courtship," "Promotion Etiquette" to "The Zen of Hostessing." 

"For the single girl, 'Chapsticks' (those platonic chaps who stick by you through thick and thin) make great escorts to events. They're also there to shoulder the burden of sometimes having sex and hearing about breakups, crushes who won't call and bitter fights with boyfriends. [...] Benefit from the Chapstick's insight into male libido."

Now remember, there is no book out there with the perfect rules to get you going through life flawlessly and without any social gaffes. Instead, look at it from the perspective that you're learning a new skill, or brushing up on one (gardening or cooking, for instance) and the more information you get, the better it is for you. There are many guidelines, but the best guideline to follow is remembering to express your true voice and style, proper fork or not.  

Toilet Seat Etiquette + Germ Control

The other week I had a couple of male guests come through my little cottage of a home. During their visit, a bathroom call was also made. Of course, I obliged. Unbeknownst to me and my preconceived notions about the modern-day mannered man, I was shocked to discover both male guests felt it OK to leave the toilet seat and lid left in the upright position. Hmm. Beyond being a social sin in my opinion, when does a girl ever like having to rearrange opened toilet accoutrements after her male guests? And it turns out, this casual lavatory act is also not so good for your home environment.

Remember in school when you had to watch those 1950's atomic bomb films in history class? That exact thing is happening in your bathroom when you flush. As that 1950's video explains, "The explosion's radioactive fallout is almost as dangerous as the blast itself." When you push down on that unassuming little flush handle, a mushroom bomb made of microbial cloud of feces and bacteria explodes into your home's atmosphere. The only thing stopping that lovely image from alighting on everything like your soap and toothbrush? 


The toilet lid, closed down as a matter of fact.


Even the boys at Discovery Channel"s Mythbusters found the same results by using dry ice to film what gets shot up during this ill-advised practice of flushing toilets with the lids in the up position. 

Some of my favorite quotes about this lid-up flushing business:


"What they can't is the countless billions of bacteria and microbes that literally explode upward into the air [...] some of these germs can reach heights of up to 20 feet." 

"It doesn't take long for these tiny particles of poop to settle on everything in the room; faucets, towels, even your toothbrush." 

So there you have it, leave it the way you found it i.e. the seat down. And anyways, the amount of energy expended in arguing about this lid up or down business, far exceeds the simple etiquette required in just doing a girl a favor in leaving a seat down. 

These Days, According to Nico

Yep, still on my French-pop kick. 

Santa Barbara and Sustainable Traveling

If the idea of traveling has left you feeling more worried about leaving a larger carbon footprint and impact on the eco system, fret not. Santa Barbara is right in our state (not jet fuel needed!) and offers a lot of eats, sights and stays that work in conjunction with nature, while leaving you with a grander appreciation of what our California coast really has to offer. 


I just came back from visiting what many have started calling "The American Riviera" and wrote up a sustainable travel guide to Santa Barbara. Your Daily Thread just came out with my article, you can read it here or click below. 

EcoEtique & Practically Green

I had the great pleasure to recently be interviewed by Practically Green, a terrific source for green living. I chatted with their Director of Social Programming, Sarah Finnie Robinson about my new EcoEtique column, what to expect on topics of environmental and social etiquette and how the two are actually related. I hope you enjoy the coming months as much as I will. 


You can read my interview with them on Practically Green's website. 

 In other news, I heard Practically Green's founders were featured on NBC Universal. Congrats to PG and their continued success. If you have not yet subscribed to PG, you can by clicking on the top of their homepage, you'll receive lots of helpful free advice to turn your life more green, every day. 

Green Living on Your Daily Thread

In addition to running EcoEtique, I'm a regular contributor for eco curious site, Your Daily Thread, where I write on green living and the like. It's one of the most thorough and well-researched sources for going green in the city. Sign up to receive the Your Daily Thread daily email-delivered news on their homepage. Do it now! And check out the rest of our amazing team here. 

Everyone Loves Getting Mail ...

Unless, of course, your lovely correspondence is blemished with giant "1.30 % APR," "NO FEES" or "What Would You Do With A Platinum Credit Card?" In today's article on Your Daily Thread, "Return to Sender: How to Nix Junk Mail" I discuss the art of banishing junk mail.  

Nico - I'm Not Saying

You can't go wrong with Nico and French pop music in general.

Ave Marie ... Claire: Blogger Etiquette

The English translation of Franz Schubert's Ave Maria has the line, "Thou canst save amid despair." 

This might be advice I'd share with Maura Kelly, blogger of Marie Claire's "A Year of Living Flirtatiously," who's likely in the middle of despair for having written an incendiary column that uses less-than-pretty language to discuss overweight individuals. People (2,288 commenters to be precise) are attacking her for zingers like, "I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other" and "I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroin addict slumping in a chair." (Awkwardly, she exposed her sloppiness as a writer when she misspelled 'heroin' as 'heroine' in her post).

Here's Kelly's post this week on 'Should "Fatties" Get a Room (Even on TV?)." 

One of the first rules in journalism was learning how to compare apples to apples and oranges to oranges. Whereas Kelly compares apples to bananas when she likens the appearance of overweight individuals to that of heroin users. {insert awkward cough} She writes, "Anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny." {eye roll} Overlooking the fact many of those models starve/bulimic themselves, did she not realize genetics are to blame for making Kate Moss as well as Oprah? Kelly misses the application of this lesson entirely (and yet the girl went to Dartmouth).

There is nothing illegal about writing trite ramble and calling it "professional," but this is a column about etiquette and social graces. If I were a blogger for a major Hearst pub, I'd have the sense to first, avoid egregious misspellings {shudder}, and two, use a filter before expressing myself on a contentious topic, like weight, which might personally and deeply affect a lot of individuals. When expressing an opinion--showing social grace and consideration neither adds nor detracts from the freedom of an opinion. There's always a hundred ways to say the same thing.

Last note. In her column, Kelly's beef was with the personal appearance of "fatties" being represented on TV (Should "fatties" Get a Room, Even on TV), insomuch she inferred a "displeasing" quality about viewing them on a big screen. For argument's sake, let's compare apples to apples. I wonder what Kelly would opine on personal appearances depicted by Snookie, Speidi and Octoman? If networks are willing to put the likes of those individuals on TV, why is there tremendous harm in broadcasting "Mike & Molly" whose characters are enrolled in Overeaters Anonymous. In time, I'm sure Kelly "canst save amid despair," since everyone's etiquette can falter at times.

"Remember you always have a choice: tact or react,
Every peacemaker uses the wisdom of diplomacy,
Because words when spoken right make men see" 

-- Tim Pickl 

EcoEtique is Born

I have been running a blog now for two years now. My first blog post was on Muse Marian, a.k.a. Marian McEvoy, the former etiquette columnist for Domino Magazine, RIP. McEvoy offered real-life advice for modern-day men and women. She's like Carrie Bradshaw meets Emily Post, plus classy oomph. Overdid martinis on a first date? Crackberry users make rude company? Muse Marian knew what to do. To this day, I still cherish her columns (yes, I keep old magazines that have gone to heaven). My first post was on etiquette and funny, even garnered me my first (and encouraging) comment. I think that must have been a sign. 


"I definitely love your own writing way, very helpful, don't give up as well as keep posting simply because it simply just truly worth to follow it, looking forward to find out additional of your articles, goodbye!" 


Today, I'm launching EcoEtique, an advice column on how to handle all aspects of modern-day eco living and etiquette. Sometimes the two are inextricably connected. For instance, if you're a guest at someone's house and offer to clean the dishes after dinner, and you notice the homeowner blasting the sink water with no dishes underneath (just thinking it makes me cringe), how do you resolve cleaning the dishes fast while not wasting precious water? Wanna send correspondence for a party or just say hello? There are a plethora of ways to nicely upcycle material into cards and find eco, sustainable stationery -- stay cordial to your acquaintances and the planet. This is my aim with EcoEtique, that and a little enjoyment. 

Santa Barbara's Eco Respite

The opportunity to visit Santa Barbara came my way based on a variety of elements that came together. Tracy wasn't able to go due to work, I was recently working from home and therefore able to work according to my very open schedule and ... it just happened that El Capitan Canyon got in touch with our eco website, Your Daily Thread. 

While I happily open myself up to new experiences as they come along -- one of the forefront reasons I love journalism/writing so much -- so when the chance to visit a brand-new, beautiful and coastal city, among other places, including a wine country in central California, how could I possibly say no?

Here are some pictures I took from my Blackberry. 

And the work space.

 

A Little AMOR

Last week, I went to visit my mother. She was feeling sick at the time, so I climbed into bed with her and hung out for a while. Later, she gave me the most beautiful pinkie ring, and her most cherished ring (OK, besides her wedding ring). She told me not to loose it. Ironically, I almost did when I had the disturbing experience of folding laundry and realizing the ring had simply slid off my pinkie (oh, that was horror). Since than, I have corrected the egregious error and now wear the ring on a silver chain with a Tiffany's heart (which my sister gave me). The ring though is remarkably irreplaceable. The story is in 1972 my mom decided to buy herself her first ring, of her own accord. It's gold and the diamond has fallen out but it's probably nothing like you've ever seen, a gorgeous vintage little piece. I cherish it. My mom told me she wanted the jeweler to make her a ring that said "love" but in Spanish so the ring says "AMOR." The font style is the other cool part. It's this psychedelic-ish, ballon-y font that you'd likely glimpse on The Doors or a Pink Floyd album cover.  Something like this: 

Here's the ring:

Blogging It Up on Simple Shoes

Check out the interview the good people at Simple Shoes posted about me on their blog, as part of their relaunching of the Simple blog, where I'll be contributing. 

Simple-y Blogging

As of late, I've started blogging for sustainable footwear company, Simple Shoes.  Check in every now and then to read up on their latest posts, where I'll be writing on everything surf, skate, culture, eco, art and, of course, all things Simple. 


Here's today's post on Dwell's Stacey Jones: Dwell Magazine People, Simple-y Fans

Total Beauty

This year, I've started writing with this beauty website called Total Beauty, it's Allure Magazine meets Yelp and offers around 5 million viewers beauty tips, how-to's and celeb beauty news, monthly. As one of their beauty news writers I basically write on all things newsy, beauty and celeb-related. Here's my editor Kristen Giordani visiting Good Morning America, where she stars an expert discussing beauty tips and more. 

And here are a couple of stories by me. Enjoy (hopefully). 

Oh Nina

Backstage at Your Daily Thread

For your viewing pleasure, a video of behind the scenes of Your Daily Thread's photo shoot. 

YDT Gets Some Camera Love

The Your Daily Thread team had a great opp to get professionally photographed by John Lauren Photography in July. Had a blast playing dress up with fellow ladies and spending the day getting primped and pressed, while drinking green tea. Here are some images from the shoot, including my new head shot. 

Jason, Sarah and Justen at Work

Guess which one is me.

L.A. Men Do the Green Runway

When you have a chance, check out my article on eco men's fashion trends in this month's issue of Whole Life Times magazine. It's one of my favorite holistic publications where I write and it was a particular pleasure interviewing all the designers for this piece -- from an international skate company CEO, a local store owner/designer making waves with hemp material, to a Civil War-inspired Tennessee designer.

It's OK to Shoot Your Friends

This last weekend. I was offered an opportunity to get some headshots done, as part of being a contributor for Your Daily Thread, an online magazine for the eco curious. I'm the Green Living writer there. Pretty rad experience altogether, not just because I have some sick headshots now--having had a professional manicurist, stylist and make up artist (Kerry Malouf is also the beauty editor at Malibu Magazine) ready to adjust every little hair or lip color--but because I got to spend the whole day in Santa Monica with some of my closest friends .. and goof off. What girl wouldn't love getting all glammed up, dancing to music while being photographed? It's like getting your fun memories professionally and artfully packaged into beautiful photos. If I could, I'd do a shoot every month, just for the fun of it.   

Sneak Peek at Green Men (Designers, that is)

I just finished up a piece on local and eco-friendly men's designers and am so excited about it, I had to post a little sample (pardon, the fashion pun) from some of the lines I wrote about. It's kind of unbelievable that this stuff is made from sustainable and earth-friendly materials--like, er, recycled cassette tape. I will post the article here once it's out.

Exactly

I still laugh at myself (and irk at my friend who "coincidentally" overlooked telling me who I was talking to) when I think about my interlude last month with Mr. DJ Cut Chemist. Honestly, I like him more for humoring me when we discussed the benefits of hiring goats to trim the lawn (more eco-friendly!). He was totally into it and barely harped about his world-travelling work. Too bad I didn't get a chance to hear what records he brought (too many folks before us) at the bring-your-own-records party at a friends.

Still my favorite Cut Chemist song.

Saturday Afternoon Post

It's late afternoon and already a good deal has happened. The morning started off with a great hike in Griffith Park - ending with a nice scenic lookout of Downtown L.A. The hike included two fellow writers/designers and besides enjoying the dusty workout, got a bit of work shop talk in (websites, head shots, articles and promoting one's brand). Watched Spain kick Paraguay's butt (seriously that guy should have got three points for that kick back into the net), drove a friend to LAX, enjoyed some light house cleaning and currently taking a break from a last-minute weekend assignment. I actually like last-minute assignments, I have a hard time saying no to editors (which is probably why I have yet to do that). Post afternoon writing session (my favorite), the evening will include a ladies night, sans the clubs. I'm not at all interested in overpriced, syrupy drinks, spandex thigh-clenching outfits wrapped on over-done up girls, nor tackily dressed men equipped with nothing but over-doused cologne and cheesy tactics. I'd much rather spend a night doing like the English, a "proper, quality time amongst fellows at the pub." 

I have a small (and growing) succulent family. Each one has its story. The first (on the left) came home with me after high-tea brunch with the ladies at the Huntington Gardens here in Pasadena. They were having a sale and I just had to take one of the babies home. The seller was telling me that most of the plants, some from places as far away as South Africa, were for sale because it was excess from ordering of the Huntington. 
The middle was a housewarming gift from a friend who home-grown the baby from another succulent. It's tiny and has even tinier roots and has been with me since I first moved in. 

The last one on the right is the most recent addition to the family. It was a gift from my first house guest, who incidentally broke off the last budding end minutes before I picked her up from the train station. Obviously, not on purpose. Too bad but at least the rest of it is doing fantastic. Absolutely love the zebra white stripes. 

In other good news, I think I found my comforter. I like it because it's nature-inspired, soothing and a bit lighter than my current Calvin Klein comforter, even though I have absolutely loved the collection for seven years. I can just see myself on it reading, writing on my laptop or napping with Francesca. Now, onto curtains! I'm thinking something white, sheer and airy ...

G-L-A-M-O-U-R is spelled with a photo shoot

Had an unexpected surprise this week when I learned I would have a cool opportunity to partake in a prof photo shoot, as part of publication where I contribute. We'll be doing individual shots, as well as a group one. What girl doesn't enjoy a little makeup and glam on a photo shoot? Did I mention it was going to be shot on the beach? Yes, I am excited.
Oh snap! 

Something That Has Nothing to Do With My Writing ...

But then again writers do write because they love seeing their work published and their personally crafted thoughts and ideas communicated to others-some who they might never meet. And herein lies the slight ego embedded in all writers, eco journalist or not. I've always loved being in the spotlight (I'm a Leo) but dropped the music major when I was 22 years old, in lieu of becoming a ham of the written language. But who knows. I just started video media, so maybe I can integrate the two (entertaining and writing) this year.

I will say this, 1984 was a good year for me, as that was the year I discovered one of the biggest ego-inducing entertainers today: Madonna and the "Like a Virgin" album. And just like that, a little baby ego-turned writer was hatched.

Dwell-ing in DTLA Redux

Check out my piece on Dwell on Design, which blew up DTLA (Downtown LA for you non-acronymn folks) this past weekend. Dwell on Design.