Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Add a Little Green to Your Gifts this Season

Barbie & Ken Vintage Photos
Good gifts needn't come with a hefty price tag - especially when there are ample indie, local and artisanal gifts at the L.A. Holiday Mart in Santa Monica this weekend. The story goes that an entreprenette, artist and event planner put their heads together to make this shop soiree of handmade goods. Enjoy some complimentary coffee and cookies. I've included my top picks. 


Salvage Heart Sweetheart
Fahmina



Monday, November 29, 2010

Listen More, Talk Less, Ask Questions

I had the good fortune of receiving a couple calls back to back last night from two very dear friends. I'd drop most things (the exception being driving in L.A. traffic and a deadline) to sit and chat on the phone with my girlfriends about really anything. It just so happened last night's topic du jour had to do with relationships - platonic and romantic. The topic wasn't really so important as much as the experience of sharing that topic. My mother used to say to me that you should do more listening and less talking because God gave you two ears and one mouth. Hat tip to mommy dearest. So when I do "talk" with friends, I like to try and listen patiently while the other party explains - sometimes at lengthy efforts - the egregious situation at hand they're experiencing and simply must get off their chest. Try it, it doesn't come so easy sometimes. 


Given a choice between listening and talking, people express more talent in talking about themselves. Go to any party and if you're struggling with a dull conversation, just ask that person lots of questions about themselves. If they're not in a coma, the dialogue will pick up in a snap. It reminds me what they taught me as a journalist student. Listen. Listen. Listen. Essentially, absorb what information you're given; and it will give you a better understanding from which to jump into questions - or in my friend's case, offer a suggestion or two. Why am I bringing this up?


Often, people just need the cathartic experience of ranting or having a sympathetic ear to share the troubles of their world with--the subject matter is irrelevant because things affect all of us differently. And we're social creatures, we literally must interact for the sake of our survival (studies have proven that babies can actually perish if nobody touches or interacts with them). Take Kitty for instance, who felt it justifiable enough to jump in front of my laptop for mere minutes of affection before her afternoon nap.  


In my case with friends, I do genuinely care what they're sharing with me. It's not uncommon for our conversations to sign off with a couple "love you's." As individuals, it's of the utmost importance to not be so self-focused on our own vexations and tribulations -- espesh when there is really much satisfaction in being there for a friend, the effort is all in simply listening. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Etiquette Books Your Mama Has Never Heard Of

As with so many things in life we sometimes need a small reminder on how to do things. Etiquette, for instance. In my bookshelf, I keep a nice collection of etiquette books, which I love picking through just for ideas and inspiration. I'm gonna say these are great picks because they're written by modern-day writers (none of that archaic silverware, plate setting business) and are actually winky and snarky enough to make most young people laugh while appreciating the manner-ish message. And really, it's more about gestures and consideration, rather than stuffy rules. If you find yourself even the slightest bit interested in learning about this etiquette business (of course you do) or find yourself stifled by the interactions of young folks in your city, check out these books from my collection that I adore. I promise these won't put you to sleep.


The Art of Civilized Conversation by Margaret Shepherd ~ Just sweetly encouraging and compact enough to toss in your bag should you have to wait somewhere. Terribly adorbs topics include "Small-Talk Saboteurs," "Disagree in a Civilized Fashion" and "Everybody Blunders." 
"Sometimes you may meet a person who just can't seem to help himself; he flirts shamelessly. It may be the only way he knows how to relate to the opposite gender. Conversations always seem to return to the discussions of looks or are infused with sexual innuendo. [...] Women seem more aware of how to keep a conversation 'on track.' If you want to block or slow down a flirtation, use 'I' a lot, 'you' and 'we' never."
Thinking of You by Marjabelle Young Stewart ~ I tried the act below once with a boy. Even if romantic notions aren't their taste, you'll usually get a sweet laugh for the effort. Plus, who doesn't like thoughtful gifts?
"Tuck a perfume- or aftershave-scented handkerchief (barely scented, not drenched) into your partner's suitcase when he's leaving town on business, along with a note that says, 'Think of me.'" 
How to be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life ~ Audrey Hepburn and how she lived the way she did, 'nuff said.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen ~ OK, not a modern etiquette book per say, but good golly molly did men and women know how to treat each other with such niceties (letter writing just to say hello, anyone?) And Austen offers such a lovely presentation on how sexual tension could be bottled up into neat, cordial interactions. Not that is still doesn't take a dedicated eye to learn how to "read" people's emotions. Indeed, handy even a century later. 

The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum by Kim Izzo & Ceri Marsh ~ These Canadian journalist wrote a three-book collection on social decorum for the modern-day gal. Tips are hilar and randy, with topics like "Sex & Courtship," "Promotion Etiquette" to "The Zen of Hostessing." 

"For the single girl, 'Chapsticks' (those platonic chaps who stick by you through thick and thin) make great escorts to events. They're also there to shoulder the burden of sometimes having sex and hearing about breakups, crushes who won't call and bitter fights with boyfriends. [...] Benefit from the Chapstick's insight into male libido."
Now remember, there is no book out there with the perfect rules to get you going through life flawlessly and without any social gaffes. Instead, look at it from the perspective that you're learning a new skill, or brushing up on one (gardening or cooking, for instance) and the more information you get, the better it is for you. There are many guidelines, but the best guideline to follow is remembering to express your true voice and style, proper fork or not.  

Monday, November 15, 2010

Toilet Seat Etiquette + Germ Control

The other week I had a couple of male guests come through my little cottage of a home. During their visit, a bathroom call was also made. Of course, I obliged. Unbeknownst to me and my preconceived notions about the modern-day mannered man, I was shocked to discover both male guests felt it OK to leave the toilet seat and lid left in the upright position. Hmm. Beyond being a social sin in my opinion, when does a girl ever like having to rearrange opened toilet accoutrements after her male guests? And it turns out, this casual lavatory act is also not so good for your home environment.

Remember in school when you had to watch those 1950's atomic bomb films in history class? That exact thing is happening in your bathroom when you flush. As that 1950's video explains, "The explosion's radioactive fallout is almost as dangerous as the blast itself." When you push down on that 
unassuming little flush handle, a mushroom bomb made of microbial cloud of feces and bacteria explodes into your home's atmosphere. The only thing stopping that lovely image from alighting on everything like your soap and toothbrush? 


The toilet lid, closed down as a matter of fact.


Even the boys at Discovery Channel"s Mythbusters found the same results by using dry ice to film what gets shot up during this ill-advised practice of flushing toilets with the lids in the up position. 

Some of my favorite quotes about this lid-up flushing business:


"What they can't is the countless billions of bacteria and microbes that literally explode upward into the air [...] some of these germs can reach heights of up to 20 feet." 

"It doesn't take long for these tiny particles of poop to settle on everything in the room; faucets, towels, even your toothbrush." 

So there you have it, leave it the way you found it i.e. the seat down. And anyways, the amount of energy expended in arguing about this lid up or down business, far exceeds the simple etiquette required in just doing a girl a favor in leaving a seat down. 

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

These Days, According to Nico

Yep, still on my French-pop kick. 

Santa Barbara and Sustainable Traveling

If the idea of traveling has left you feeling more worried about leaving a larger carbon footprint and impact on the eco system, fret not. Santa Barbara is right in our state (not jet fuel needed!) and offers a lot of eats, sights and stays that work in conjunction with nature, while leaving you with a grander appreciation of what our California coast really has to offer. 


I just came back from visiting what many have started calling "The American Riviera" and wrote up a sustainable travel guide to Santa Barbara. Your Daily Thread just came out with my article, you can read it here or click below. 


Monday, November 08, 2010

EcoEtique & Practically Green

I had the great pleasure to recently be interviewed by Practically Green, a terrific source for green living. I chatted with their Director of Social Programming, Sarah Finnie Robinson about my new EcoEtique column, what to expect on topics of environmental and social etiquette and how the two are actually related. I hope you enjoy the coming months as much as I will. 


You can read my interview with them on Practically Green's website


 In other news, I heard Practically Green's founders were featured on NBC Universal. Congrats to PG and their continued success. If you have not yet subscribed to PG, you can by clicking on the top of their homepage, you'll receive lots of helpful free advice to turn your life more green, every day. 


Thursday, November 04, 2010

Green Living on Your Daily Thread

In addition to running EcoEtique, I'm a regular contributor for eco curious site, Your Daily Thread, where I write on green living and the like. It's one of the most thorough and well-researched sources for going green in the city. Sign up to receive the Your Daily Thread daily email-delivered news on their homepage. Do it now! And check out the rest of our amazing team here

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Everyone Loves Getting Mail ...

Unless, of course, your lovely correspondence is blemished with giant "1.30 % APR," "NO FEES" or "What Would You Do With A Platinum Credit Card?" In today's article on Your Daily Thread, "Return to Sender: How to Nix Junk Mail" I discuss the art of banishing junk mail.